Mother’s Day is a day we get to celebrate and honor mothers.
Romans 13:7 says, “Give honor to whom honor is due.”
Mothers do deserve honor; the responsibility of raising children is an awesome task and much of the time unappreciated.
For those very special mothers of those very special kids
I want to especially recognize and salute those incredible mothers that have the privilege of raising and caring for a child with special needs, either with some kind of ability challenge or with a chronic illness.
A curse or a blessing?
Many people see this situation as a curse and not a blessing. As a mother of two children who have severe congenital heart conditions, one of whom also has neurological delays, this breaks my heart. Why do we have tests done during pregnancy to determine if there’s a physical problem with the baby? I understand that mothers might want to just be prepared if there is a problem, but honestly, most doctors offer these tests to protect themselves and to give the mother the option of “terminating the pregnancy” if they see something “wrong” with the baby. I was over thirty-five when three of my children were born, so the protocol was to test for birth defects because the risks are higher as you get older. When I refused to have any invasive tests done (I did have sonograms), I had to sign something saying I refused the tests. When I said I wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy no matter what the tests showed, the doctor said, “Well, if you wouldn’t do anything, I guess there’s no point in having the test.” Well, I do have two children with CHDs, leaving one of them neurologically impaired, and I can’t imagine my life without them. These children, now adults, are such a tremendous blessing to me and I am privileged to have been chosen by God to be their mother. The love I have for them is indescribable and the blessing they are to me is beyond measure.
So blessed to be the mother of these five amazing people!!! Love them to pieces!!!
“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” – Barbara Kingsolver
Hats off to all you women that have been chosen to be the mother of children with special needs! I can’t say I know how you feel because everyone’s situation is different, but I know that your responsibility is beyond something that we can do in our own strength, beyond the strength of any human being. It is impossible to care for these very special children without the help of our loving God. The part that people don’t see is that these children are on our hearts and minds every minute of every day. We wish we could take away their pain, their limitations, their frustrations, and the fears that they can’t express. We spend our days trying to make sure their every need is met and that they can live lives as normal and fulfilling as possible. I pray for you all that God would give you the strength and grace to do all that you have to do for your children. I pray for wisdom, patience and stamina so that you can accomplish your goals for your children. And I pray that you will see this life that God has chosen for you as a privilege so that you can be thankful for it. I know it is not easy, but please know that you are amazing!!
My own struggles
Many days I cry myself to sleep thinking about my children. I feel bad for my daughter and the way people treat her, not that they mistreat her, but the fact that people ignore her or don’t include her. This makes me so sad. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s because they don’t feel comfortable talking to her or trying to understand what she is trying to say. Please, if this is you, when you see a child with special needs, reach out to them, talk to them, include them. You will be blessed. The burden of spending so much time with them falls on us because people aren’t offering to spend time with them. What a blessing it would be to a parent of a special needs child if people would offer to take them out. This is an area I really struggle with. I have to fight the expectations that someone would offer to spend time with her.
Be that blessing!
A quick story – many years ago, my kids were attending a VBS (vacation bible school) at a church nearby. I was sitting in the audience with dozens of other parents watching the kids rehearse for the presentation at the end of the week. A woman who I had never met was helping out with VBS and had her autistic son with her. She was busy and he was walking around not knowing what to do with himself and making some noise. I noticed his mom was busy doing something and the people sitting were either ignoring him or getting annoyed so I picked him up (he was about 6 or 7 at the time), sat him in the chair next to me and talked to him quietly. The mom thanked me profusely when she was done and I never gave it another thought. In fact I really forgot about it. About 3 or 4 years later, my sons were playing baseball in Little League and a woman came up to me. As a pastor’s wife, you see so many faces over the years (and I’m terrible at remembering names), so I did not recognize this woman. She said, “I remember you. You took care of my son at a VBS when I wasn’t able to.” Sometimes we do things that seem to be a little thing, but it could be a big thing to someone. Let’s be that person! We became good friends after that; she’s the sweetest woman.
“If I speak in the tongues of man and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a changing symbol. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
So mothers, rejoice in what God had called you to and be thankful!! You are special!!