When we get anxious about our adult children

As our children get older, our anxieties concerning them can overwhelm us, Having adult children can bring tremendous joy to our lives as we trust God and marvel at the great work He has done.

When your children are young, you have more control over them.  You can protect them easier. we can keep them from going places that you don’t feel comfortable going to.  You can keep them from people you feel are not good influences.  You can correct them and stop them from going through with bad choices. Especially if you homeschool your children, you really have a hand in their day-to-day lives.  We have a responsibility to help shape their thinking in a way that glorifies God.

Then one day you wake up and your innocent children are driving, getting jobs, making new friends that you have not introduced them to, etc.

It is so easy to become anxious about these things and worry about where they are, who they’re with, what they’re doing and if they’re taking care of themselves.

But God…

Some things to remember

  • To seek God first.  “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”.  Matthew 6:33.  The first thing we need to do is pray.
  • God is sovereign.  Nothing can happen that He does not ordain.  He is in total control! “Indeed heaven and the highest heavens belong to the Lord your God, also the earth with all that is in it.”  Deuteronomy 10:14.
  • God is good.  God wants the very best for us.  “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”  Psalm 84:11
  • God loves us.  He loves us with an everlasting love  “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38,39
  • His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:9.  We don’t always know what God is doing.  We don’t always understand what He is doing.  We need to trust Him and know His ways are perfect.  He never makes a mistake.
  • God does not forget about us.  He knows how to take care of His children.  “Are not five sparrows sold for 2 copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6,7
  • We can’t save our children.  Once they’re adults, if your children are not walking with the LORD, we need to continue to pray for them and realize it is God who saves them – not us.  “Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love.” Ephesians 1:4
  • God’s faithfulness.  He has brought you and your children through some difficult times and He has shaped them into their own wonderful creations!

 What we should do

God sees our hurts, our disappointments, and our fears.

This is not to say we have no responsibility concerning them once they’re adults.  We should always encourage them to honor God.  We should always be there for them, supporting them and advising them when asked or when necessary.

Keep the communication going.  Talk to them as often as possible about serious things so you can figure out where they are coming from.  This is no time to judge them or criticize them; that’s a sure way to have them avoid talking to you. Show them you really care about them and what’s going on in their lives.

It can be a very challenging time, but it also can be a very joyful time.  Your relationship with them has changed, but this can be a very freeing time of enjoying your adult children.

Always encourage them.  Recognize and acknowledge their achievements and praise them!!!

Praying for you,

Love in Christ always,

Rosemary